


Nepeta's Adventuring Harem

by NGamerS



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Ass Play, Bugs & Insects, Catboys & Catgirls, Clowns, Costumes, Deepthroating, Dirty Talk, Doctor/Patient, Dom/sub, Eye Contact, F/F, F/M, Gags, Gnomes, Guitars, Injury, Multi, Muscles, Parkour, Predator/Prey, Rope Bondage, Sauna, Shirtless, Sleep, Sleep Deprivation, Sleeping Together, Stomach Ache, Strangulation, Sweat, Swordplay, Trolls, Weight Gain, bulging stomach
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2020-04-06 17:23:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19067194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NGamerS/pseuds/NGamerS
Summary: A Homestuck fantasy-AU in which the titular Nepeta Leijon travels from her home out to the unknown and makes the acquintance of some fairly interesting people that she just may become friends with... or more...





	1. Cat girl forms a threesome with two shirtless men.

**Author's Note:**

> Strap in boys, girls and uranians of all ages. This is going to be a wild ride.

Nepeta walked through the compact sands of the wilderness, her neck-length black hair shifting in the wind and clinging to her bronze skin, wet with sweat. More and more short grass and spiky bushes began to dot the landscape before her. She was quite grateful for this, as it meant she was close to leaving the desert and getting to experience the world, just like she’d always dreamed. Her gratitude also stemmed from the fact her waterskin has already run dry, and dying from heat stroke on the first day of your adventure was a very lame way to kick the bucket.  
She sniffed the air. Her nostrils are slit-like and her upper lip has a noticeable cleft in its middle, giving her face a great resemblance to that of a cat. That was not uncommon in her home. In fact, it was indicative of her people, and gave them their famed sense of smell and ability to breathe semi-clearly in sandstorms. However, she was not sniffing the arid sands of the desert, not anymore, she had caught onto a scent not entirely familiar to her.  
“Smells kinda stinky… and salty… isn’t that how mother described the ocean?” Nepeta didn’t want to get her hopes up but found that she was beside herself with glee nonetheless. The ocean! The cool breeze! The clear water! The pretty creatures called fish! She adored every detail of the miraculous place known as sea. She sniffed here and there in her dash to reach the source of the smell, and she found… a river. Disappointing, but she can refill her waterskin here, and you don’t look a gift body of water in the mouth afterall. But that river is not the source of the scent she’d picked up, she realized. She was already crouched by the river, waterskin at the ready when she turned to look at the true source, an absolute behemoth of a man.  
Well, perhaps he wasn’t all that big, in fact he wasn’t much taller than any other man, but he was so muscular that she was certain he could crush rock.  
He brushed his long, straight hair out of his eyes and blinked.  
“Ah, a cat.”  
He said that as if he had just noticed her, though Nepeta could have sworn he was looking at her the whole time.  
“Um, yes. The name is Nepeta.”  
She rose slowly.  
The man rose from the rock he had been sitting on. In his hand was a rag he was presumably using to wash the sweat off of his shirtless body in the river.  
Nepeta found it odd that his sweat had an odor that reminded her of the ocean.  
He spoke. “I like your bow. It is of quite a fine make. Where did you get it from?”  
“Uh, my mother made it actually. I’m actually not very good at using bows, but she insisted that ‘a true hunter knows many tools and uses everything in their disposal to the best of their ability’” She was very clearly reciting something said to her more than a few times.  
“Why, a bow is a fantastic weapon. You should use it as often as you can, for it is the noblest of weapons.” The man’s chest swelled with pride, and additional perspiration, as he delivered his critique of tools of archery. “Sadly, I cannot wield one myself. I keep breaking the bow whenever I attempt to knock an arrow.”  
“Oh, you’ll get better at it! I’ve torn a few strings in my life.”  
“No, not the string, the bow.”  
“Hmm. Wait, wha—” She was cut short by a shout coming from downstream.  
“HEY FUCKSTICK! ARE YOU DONE TAKING WHAT I CAN ONLY ASSUME IS A RAGBATH TO END ALL RAGBATHS OR WHAT?!”  
The voice sounded hoarse and crabby.  
“Ah, my master calls me. My name is Equius, and I am pleased to make your acquaintance.”  
“I am pleased to make your acquaintance as well!” Equius reached to shake Nepeta’s hand, which he did. It hurt Nepeta a little.  
As both parties turned away from one another, Nepeta began muttering to herself.  
“Okay, adventure time, gonna go out, do… do stuff. Um.”  
Her breathing hastened as she realized her plan wasn’t as well thought out as she hoped. Sure, she had a plan in mind: travel the wilds, hunt, go and visit towns. Until now, it had yet to really strike her that despite all her confidence, her plan was lacking in the everything department.  
“HEY!! EQUIUS!!!” She called out after the large man, who turned his head to her, much to his master’s chagrin.  
Nepeta finished her short sprint to his location and began to speak in a shaky voice “W-Where are you planning to go from here?”  
“Oh for fuck’s sake- No! No no no! We are not picking up stray cat girls off the street like we're cat girl junkies desperately trying to get another hit of felicitous feline females! I’m sorry, whoever you are, but we are not adventuring with you.”  
The man whose voice Nepeta recognized from earlier, Equius’s ‘Master’ as he put it, seemed to get progressively redder as he spoke.  
“...So you ARE adventures then?” Nepeta said, a smile spreading on her face.  
“Oh gods. Oh no. This is how it starts. Soon I’ll be drowning in random colorful assholes who want to save the world or some dumb shit, aren’t I?” The ‘master’ pinched the bridge of his nose. His body was toned, definitely not as muscular as Equius, but quite firm, and similarly without shirt. Nepeta couldn’t help but find her being a bit taller than him strangely endearing.  
“If I may, master, I believe her skills will aid us, as neither of us can fight at long range, and she has a bow.”  
Equius’s voice became more strangled as he said the words ‘master’ and ‘bow’.  
The smaller man sighed deeply. “Fine. Fine. Sure! Listen up everyone!!! We’re the douchebag adoption center for abandoned asswads and we will accept any and all applications! Come one come all! Big sweaty weirdo! Random ass cat girl with a bow! Can I get a fucking clown midget or are we not quite into the HORRIDLY RIDICULOUS section of the list yet?!” He looked at the girl with a tired look, “My name is Karkat, it’s nice to meet you, we’re going into town to meet a friend, and we are as much adventurers as we are homeless and pathetic. Do you want in?”  
Nepeta nodded enthusiastically.  
“Cool. Don’t lag behind.”  
Karkat turned and began to walk, as Nepeta leaned closer to Equius to whisper in his ear. “I told you I’m not good with a bow though.”  
“That is okay. I’m rather fond of you from our brief meeting. And also please forgive the master’s temper.”  
“Oh it’s fine! I actually think it’s kind of cute.”  
Karkat exhaled from his nose. “I hate my life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Biology, Chemistry and Physics in a Magical World**  
>  A guide to understanding creation
> 
>  _Foreword_  
>  Welcome to “Biology, Chemistry and Physics in a Magical World”. If you have chosen to pick up this handy manual then that means you wish to have a deeper understanding of magic than others. Although we have been utilizing magic for what may very well be the entire history of our respective species, it is only relatively recently that we have begun to understand the deep intricacies of how magic functions and where it comes from. It is my hope that in reading this you will gain a deeper understanding and appreciation of the arcane so that you may go forth and help all people of the world deepen their understanding of the fascinating universe we inhabit.  
> Happy reading!


	2. Action in the night with two strangers.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio was planning to settle down for the night, but it looks like they'll have a more exhilirating time than planned...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This actually got more love than I thought, thank you so much! The first chapter was bit dry, but don't worry, this one'll really get you pumped ;)

The group marched onward, following the river’s flow downstream. Nepeta stayed at the back of the party for the majority of the trip, letting Karkat lead.  
Something had caught her interest immediately once she started walking with them, but she didn’t want to mention it to them. She instead indulged in some idle chatter with Equius, talking about their respective homes. Equius was more than enthused to discuss his homeland, the relative cold, their noble contests of battle, and their magic, which Nepeta was assured several times was the strongest of all magics.  
Karkat, while otherwise silent, gave his opinion on these matters just as liberally as Equius, with cries of: “The snow sucks, it’s cold and irritating and gets everywhere.”, “Beating each other up for sport is proof that the saying ‘brain damage will only increase the cycle of brain damage’ is all too true.”, “Equius if you say the word ‘Muscle’ one more time I will vomit pure hate all over your precious rags.”   
However, at some point she simply couldn’t hold back anymore.  
“Equius? What are those uh, scars, you have there? On your back?”  
Equius briefly looked down past his own shoulder. “These? Clearly you haven’t been listening, this magic circle was proudly burned into my back so I can use the STRONG magic that is musclebending.” He emphasized the word strong as if the word itself pleasured him.  
“What did I say Equius?!” Karkat snapped  
“My apologies master. Surely such behavior would bring about... punishment.”  
Nepeta continued to study Equius’s back to the sound of Karkat groaning, gagging, and assuring her that his relationship with Equius is platonic and he would ditch him at the earliest opportunity. “-but he’s what passes for a magic user to our people for some reason, and frankly, every other magician I’ve met has been a huge douche.”  
“Master, isn’t the only other magic user you’ve met Sollux?”  
“So you agree with me.”  
The scarred flesh of Equius’s back absolutely entranced the cat girl. It was slightly sunken, circles within circles, foreign symbols dotting them and lines crossing them. Musclebending was a straightforward name, she supposed, but she was quite curious to see what came of the application of such techniques.  
Equius cut her train of thought, which was frankly getting quite gross. “Master, it’s nearly sundown. Should we set up camp?”  
“We’ll reach town soon, and we’ll rest then. If it gets too dark just make a light.”  
“Yes, master.”  
Nepeta looked past her comrades to where the river flowed. She couldn’t see anything resembling a town in the horizon, but she trusted Karkat’s judgement and confidence.  
She was wrong to do so.  
Indeed it had gotten dark, and Equius lit a torch for them by making a very impressive flexing motion at it. Equius seemed uncomfortable walking in the dark, and Nepeta was starting to get tired of walking, but neither said anything. She thought that complaining may make Karkat think less of her, and he already viewed her as an unwelcome addition.  
Karkat shivered slightly. He took the shirt he’s been carrying since meeting Nepeta and donned it. He scratched himself nervously. It had become quite apparent that he completely misjudged the distance they had to travel to town.  
He opened his mouth to talk, but lost his breath as he was tackled away by Nepeta. “Watch out!”  
An arrow shot from the dark of the trees that lined the road pierced the air that Karkat once occupied and slashed Nepeta’s back from shoulder blade to shoulder blade.  
Equius snapped toward the trees, running to where the arrow came from, when a figure emerged from the dark and in a few swift motions, it had grappled Equius’s neck with a chain.  
“Gah! What the fuck just happened!?” Karkat could see Equius struggling against his assailant and the torch on the ground, burning some of the grass, but not much else.  
Nepeta rose and helped Karkat to his feet. She looked at the figure straddling Equius. It was wearing blue robes with cyan markings and patterns on them. On its face was a white mask, partially painted black in a pattern that reminded one of a clown’s face paint.  
Karkat pulled out his sword, a simple blade, about the size of one’s arm from shoulder to wrist, hooked at the end. He ran toward Equius, ready to strike, but was overtaken by Nepeta, to his surprise.  
The assailant prepared to leap off of Equius’s back to dodge, but as soon as their grip on the chain relented, Equius grabbed their arms, steadying them as Nepeta plunged a knife through their neck with a leap.  
Karkat was about to comment on Nepeta’s brutal display, but as she finished her leap, a figure with a crossbow in their hand pulled on a nearby rope, entangling Nepeta’s foot and pulling her up toward the trees.  
Equius was putting out the small fire caused by the torch by conjuring forth water from one hand, rubbing his neck with the other, and looking with concern at the trapped cat girl.  
Karkat tried to run to assist her, and the assailant, masked just like the other attacker, was pointing his crossbow at Nepeta.  
Time seemed to slow down for all those involved.  
Karkat knew he wasn’t faster than an arrow, Equius was having trouble recovering from the strangulation he’d underwent, making him somewhat unfocused, and Nepeta couldn’t very well cut down the rope binding her before the arrow struck her all too exposed vital organs. ‘Was this it?’ She thought to herself. Nepeta closed her eyes tightly, the arrow was sent forth toward her, and Karkat reached out his hand to her, despite the great distance between them.  
All of a sudden, a great flash of light erupted from where Nepeta was hanging, both rope and arrow were incinerated in the powerful electric blast.  
Nepeta fell to the ground.  
Karkat’s jaw dropped in awe.  
Equius stammered “Ne-Nepeta?!”.  
The masked figure started running toward the forest. No one thought to stop him.  
Nepeta opened her eyes, keenly aware she’d fallen. “What… What happened?”  
“You tell me!” Karkat’s face went through about ten emotions in the span of a second, “Since when are you such a strong magician!?”  
“I’m not???” Nepeta seemed distressed, looking at her hands as if they would hold any answer.  
“Bu-But, b-but but” Karkat felt as though he was going to faint.  
“But.” Equius said, his voice steady.  
Nepeta rose. She winced when the pain reminded her that her back was hurt.  
“Should we… Search the body?” Nepeta asked uneasily.  
Everyone looked at each other anxiously.  
“I’ll do it.” said Karkat. He kneeled before the body. Shaking, he removed the mask from its wearer, before quickly putting it back. “Fuck.”  
Equius drew closer to the corpse “Is it someone you recognize master?”  
“No, it’s just some guy. But uh… Whoever this is, they’re very dead.” Karkat’s words were already made rather apparent by the blood pooling near the cadaver’s neck.  
Karkat went through the person’s robes.  
“...Just weapons. Don’t know what we were even looking for…” Karkat stumbled back to his feet.  
“Let’s go.” He said, his voice cracking slightly. His companions agreed wholeheartedly, despite their injuries. Fear is one hell of a drug.  
They walked onward, guided only by the soft glimmer of the river water under the moonlight. Eventually they made it to an area with farmland, houses, and stone roads. Karkat sighed heavily.  
“Just a few streets forward and a turn left from here.”  
They reached a somewhat large wooden house, a small ramp separating them from the door. Karkat walked forward and knocked.  
A minute passed and the door was opened by a barely awake woman wearing a sleeping gown.  
“Uhh, hi Kanaya. Any chance for a midnight doctor visit?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Entry 1:** _Fundamentals of Magic _  
> In order to understand something, one must start from the beginning. Magic, in its essence, is the transformation of energy to matter. What is important here is the definition of energy. While energy can simply mean force, like the force that makes molecules move faster when they are heated, it is mostly the energy put out by decaying atoms that is commonly referred to as magic energy, or in some circles, radiation. The distinction here is important, because while energy in the simple way that we understand it is required to use magic, radiation actually comes in not just pure energetic form, but in the form of subatomic particles as well. When magic energy is gathered in the cell, it is capable of taking the subatomic particles and combining them to form atoms. This is done by using energy both from the radiation itself and from within the cell.  
>  The way that your cells are capable of turning magic energy to physical matter is by using a small component of the cell, one of their organelles, that allows them to transform the radiation to one or two types of atoms depending on the organelle. These come in four types that will be more than familiar to you: Fire, Water, Air, and Earth.  
> Water magic can create oxygen and hydrogen atoms.  
> Earth magic can create oxygen and carbon atoms.  
> Air magic can create oxygen and nitrogen atoms.  
> Finally, Fire magic is unique in that it only creates oxygen atoms but charges them with much of the absorbed energy, creating heated oxygen that can, and often does, burst into flame in contact with the air.  
> These four basic magics are constantly happening within our bodies without our noticing, but we sometimes call upon them to do feats greater than merely staying alive.  
> To learn about those, you will simply have to keep reading this guide. On to the next entry...__


	3. The gang sleeps together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quite time for our group. New faces, bonding moments, and a brief shirtlessness awaits...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like after this has gotten so much attention I should come clean about a small deception that most of you have probably noticed in this story already... "Biology, Chemistry and Physics in a Magical World" is mostly just biology, I'm very sorry but I wanted a cool sounding science name for it, I hope you can forgive me.

“You are aware you can come visit at normal hours, right Karkat?”  
“Yes Kanaya.”  
“And if you do show up late, you can just give a little ‘Hello’ and ‘Good night’ and crash on the couch, we’ve known each other for quite long, you are welcome in my home.”  
“Yes Kanaya.”  
“And maybe sometimes you can pop by with a snack or some flowers, and not a wounded cat girl for me to take care of. No offence, sweetie.” The doctor finished cleaning and dressing the wound across her surprise patient’s back.  
“Yes Kanaya.” Karkat said with resignation. He was sitting on a small couch in what functioned as Kanaya’s waiting room, slouching tiredly.  
“None taken.” Nepeta mumbled. She was feeling quite uncomfortable, both since she felt she was intruding on the kind woman, and because she was aware the only thing separating her shirtless body from Karkat’s gaze was a wall with a door frame and window frame, but no door or window to close. Her back was turned to the wall, as well as the doctor, Kanaya.  
If she’s honest with herself, Kanaya made her a tad uncomfortable too. Whenever she reached around to her front, Nepeta felt her heart jump a little.  
“Okay darling, you can put your clothes back on and go rest now. I’m sorry you had to get hurt like that.”  
Nepeta make a small noise of agreement and put her breast band and short dress on.  
“Adventurers's clothing is so drab. I ought to show you some finer fabrics later,” Kanaya half mumbled as she went out of the treatment area and up the stairs to where, presumably, her home proper was.  
“Good night Karkat, Equius, and uh-”  
“Nepeta.”  
“Right, sorry.”  
Kanaya disappeared completely from view and up the stairs.  
Nepeta went to sit next to Karkat. Equius was on the floor, holding a small round object in his hand that Kanaya wordlessly pushed to his neck earlier. He had a blue streak across his neck. He was already asleep.  
“...I suppose you go to see her often?” Nepeta asked, mostly to fill the silence.  
“Yeah… I told you we’re homeless and pathetic.” Karkat chuckled.  
“I’m… really sorry.” Karkat lifted his head to look at Nepeta. His eyes were red.  
“This isn’t the first time I’ve gotten hurt-”  
“No.” Karkat cut her off, “It’s not about that. It’s about how I treated you when we first met. I… I don’t want you to feel unwelcome.”  
“Karkat.”  
“And don’t think this is just because of how awesome you were in that fight, I mean you were, like wow! You just—”  
“Karkat!” Karkat snapped at the sound of Nepeta’s voice.  
“It’s fine. We haven’t been together too long at all, but you seem like good company. And if we get jumped again I’ve got your back.”  
Karkat sighed, smiling. “Good night Nepeta.”  
Karkat got up off the couch and down to the floor.  
“Karkat what are you doing?”  
“Well there isn’t room for two on that thing right? You should get some rest.”  
Nepeta wanted to object, tell him that if he and Equius are on the floor then so is she. Instead she lied down on the couch and said “I’m scared, Karkat. I don’t know what’s happening.”  
“...We’ll figure it out.” Karkat said softly, falling deeply into sleep.

Light hit Nepeta’s eyes the next morning, prompting her to open them. She looked at Equius, still peacefully asleep.  
Soft footsteps caused her to crane her neck back to observe the source of the sound. It was a scrawny looking man with a pair of dark tinted glasses tucked into his black shirt. When he noticed her looking at him he pressed a single finger to his lips and silently hissed at her. He then bent over where Karkat was laying. He reached his hand forward, hovering over his face, and splayed his fingers wide.  
He then sprayed water in Karkat’s face.  
“GAH! What- Wha- Oh you amazing, writhing, piece of shit! When did you even get here!?”  
“Last night doofus. And I got the guest room.” The man waggled his eyebrows at Karkat.  
“Oh my god, it is FAR too early for your shit! Really, what a STUNNINGLY socially inept way to have a reunion! You’ve outdone yourself! Three cheers and a round of applause for Mr. Captor!”  
At this point Equius had awoken and started rubbing at his throat, presumably still sore. Kanaya had also woken, and was loitering in the middle of the stairs, leaning against the rails. She turned to Nepeta, “This is normal.”  
“Would you stop being a big baby KK? It’s just water. Or is any liquid other than your boy-toy’s sweat strange and alien to you now?” Mr. Captor retorted.  
“Oh go choke on a magic crystal! I didn’t realize you could even TOUCH water, sir Fireball.” Karkat’s body language was surprisingly calm during this shouting match. Captor’s too. In fact, he even gave Karkat a hand when he was getting up from the floor.  
Nepeta supposed that it must have been quite normal then, just as Kanaya said.  
“Don’t criticize me on magic KK, not when-” Both parties seemed to catch themselves at that moment.  
“Dude.” Karkat gave his conversational rival a meaningful look.  
“I am so sorry I brought it up.” The man seemed genuinely sorry, and almost surprised at himself.  
There was an awkward silence in the room, till Kanaya finally broke it.  
“Would anyone care to join me for breakfast upstairs?”  
The whole room answered in some form of agreement or another.  
“Splendid. Sollux can start making it.”  
By the look on the stranger’s face and Karkat’s snort, Nepeta came to the assumption that the man who woke up Karkat is Sollux Captor, and he is about to cook for them.

Everyone gathered by a rather sizable table placed a bit away from the stairs. Sollux was fighting with various kitchen implements, who were receiving massive cheers from an adoring crowd of Karkat, while Kanaya was in her room, preparing.  
Equius nudged Nepeta. “Did you sleep well?”  
Nepeta had noticeable bags under her eyes, making the question mostly rhetorical, something she picked up on. “Not really. It was kind of a stressful night after all…”  
Equius nodded. Nepeta observed the movement of his neck as he did.  
“Does it still hurt?” she asked him.  
“Not at all. And you?”  
Her wound burned like the sun on a hot summer day.  
“Not at all!” she said cheerfully. He smiled at that.  
Sollux called on the people seated to come to him and handed each a plate with a slice of bread on it, seemingly undercooked beans spread on top.  
Before Nepeta got her plate, Sollux reached his hand to her.  
“Sollux. It’s nice to meet you.”  
She took his hand and shook it. “My name’s Nepeta! It’s a pleasure to meet you.”  
“So how do you know Kanaya?” He handed her her plate.  
“I actually don’t. I’m here with Karkat.”  
“Hmm, interesting.” He leaned in near her ear, “Blink twice if he’s forcing you to be here.”  
She laughed “What is even the deal with the two of you? You were being really rude to each other earlier.”  
Sollux picked up two additional plates. “Don’t even worry about it, Karkat knows I love him. Hey Karkat!”  
“What is it, fuckstain?!”  
“I love you.”  
“Bite me.”  
They all sat down, one plate left ownerless, waiting for Kanaya.  
When she arrived she was dressed in a simple green dress, separated in the middle by a thick leather belt. Without darkness and sleep getting in her way this was the first time Nepeta got a chance to evaluate Kanaya’s looks. Her hair was a dark black, styled to perfection, her skin white, and pale at that, and her lips and cheeks were a stark red that was likely manufactured from cosmetics. She was rather fetching, Nepeta had to admit, if only for the amount of work she put into her appearance.  
“Good morning everyone. You must be wondering why I called you here.”  
“It isn’t because you want to spend time with us, I hope.” Karkat said, mouth half full.  
“How could I ever refuse such well mannered company as that of my dearest friends and companions. But no, I’m afraid I have more sinister plans for all of you. First, we eat. Thank you Sollux.”  
The food he had prepared was tolerable at best. Such a simple meal, by all means, shouldn’t be easy to ruin, yet he succeeded. A marvel only noted by himself, followed passionately by Karkat.  
As they bickered, Kanaya leaned in toward Nepeta. “May I speak to you privately for a moment?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Entry 2:** _Magical Flora_  
>  Magical flora, as the name implies, is a term for plants that make use of magic. While there is a variety far too large to contain in this guidebook, let alone this entry, we will refer to some special plants that are important to this world due to their ability to make oases of various types. Each of the following examples is a staple of their local culture due to civilization in the area where they each grow rising in close proximity to them:  
> The sun tree is a kind of tree that uses fire magic to heat its usually frozen environment, allowing it and other plants to thrive where they usually couldn’t. Many animals, especially cold blooded, can be found clinging tightly to it when temperatures lower.  
> Dripping bushes are often found in desert areas where water is scarce. They receive their name from a phenomena that occurs when they are watered more than the desert normally allows. Their leaves, full of water they make themselves through water magic, begin dripping as the plant makes more water than it needs. The dripping can be used to discover hidden reservoirs of water in the desert. These plants technically don’t make oases, but rather, when they grow in their proximity, begin to drip. This led to the belief that they are capable of making ponds in the desert, which is unfortunately untrue. Nonetheless, they are useful for desert survival and revered among cat folk.  
> Smoke flowers are named such for the clouds of thick pollen that spread around them during springtime. Most plants are versed in air magic, as it is difficult for them to obtain crucial nitrogen otherwise, and many use earth magic to substitute some amount of CO2 for the process of photosynthesis, but the smoke flower is unique in that it is the master of all magic. It is capable of fulfilling all its needs internally, which lead to its breeding strategy coming down to spreading thick clouds of pollen around it, letting the wind carry it whichever way. When it is fertilized, it shoots out its seeds rather violently around it. These plants appear in large groups and grow nearly everywhere, but they do require either ample resources or a lot of radiation to function. For this very reason this plant, often considered a pest, makes very special oases.  
> Sometimes, people wish to settle an area that suffers from an abundance of magic energy, which is one of the few cases where people can succumb to magic illness, or radiation poisoning as it is sometimes called. To prevent this, they will capture an amount of smoke flower seeds and allow them to grow in the radiation rich environment. Eventually, these master magicians will consume enough magic energy to effectively shield the area. Some have even taken to covering their house with these to ensure no stray magic gets to them.  
> The next entry will involve a type of magical flora very important to most magic users. I urge you to keep reading.


	4. Doctor makes cat girl very wet.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanaya and Nepeta enjoy one on one time at the doctor's special treatment room...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the wait guys! Life has been hectic lately and... It's going to keep being hectic for a bit.  
> I'll try and hold myself up to a better standart of posting regularly, but I can't make promises till maybe the end of this month.  
> However, I just want to tell you all how much the kudos and such helped me gather the energy to write this. I less than expected this to get attention but I feel like I really managed to find some small audience here. Please comment and all critiques are welcome!

Kanaya led Nepeta away from the table and to a small cabin behind her house.  
“What is this?” Nepeta asked.  
“A small… treatment room, as it were.”  
Nepeta wrinkled her face in response to what seemed like an attempt to dodge her question, but she followed Kanaya inside nonetheless.  
The room inside was small and dark, and a certain dankness lingered in the air.  
Kanaya grabbed a candle hanging by the door and blew on it, causing the wick to light. She used it to ignite two small piles of coals situated to either side of a stone stool, each in a small elevated pot that she then put a lid on.  
“Please sit down.” Kanaya motioned to the seat by the light of the candle.  
Nepeta followed obediently and sat down.  
“What kind of treatment is this?” Nepeta was becoming visibly uncomfortable as Kanaya shut the door behind her.  
“It’s a kind of… Sweat therapy. I suggest you make yourself comfortable.” Kanaya vaguely pointed at Nepeta’s clothes.  
“Uhh.. You sure love getting me naked.” Nepeta chuckled nervously. She made no move toward her clothing.  
“Come now dear, this is to treat your wound. I’d hate to see it become infected. Would it make you more comfortable if I undressed as well?”  
“No!”, Nepeta blurted, “I’m fi-It’s fine.”  
Nepeta began undressing as Kanaya hovered over her, to remove her bandages as it turned out.  
The cat girl studied the doctor’s face anxiously as she went about this: Where she was looking, how she was looking at it, and why.  
The woman had little to no emotion in her face. Amusement perhaps? But she seemed rather business-like about the whole thing, which served to reassure Nepeta.  
When all but the younger woman’s undergarments were put aside, even her breast band laid on the floor of the small cabin, Kanaya began ladling water on the lids of the pots, causing steam to rise from them.  
“Now, what we’re trying to do here is just make you sweat a bit. It has more health benefits than just helping with your wounds, you know. I’d highly recommend it.” Kanaya’s tone was cheerful, as if trying to produce a laugh from her patient, but she was met with anxious nods and distracted sounds of agreement.  
Kanaya sighed. “There is another reason I wanted you here.” She grabbed a cloth and wiped it across Nepeta’s cheek. The touch caused Nepeta to snap back from her worried thoughts of the doctor’s gaze and look into her eyes. It also made her convinced the fires had just begun to burn slightly hotter.  
“You were attacked, weren’t you?”  
Kanaya’s eyes, full of genuine caring and love, almost hurt Nepeta.  
“...Yes. Karkat and Equius didn’t say anything, so I didn’t either.”  
Kanaya continued wiping Nepeta at various places on her body, minding her wounds, and squeezing the cloth into a bucket when it had gotten too damp. When the steam would start to fizzle, she poured more water on the heated pots, occasionally checking on the coals inside and stirring them with the ladle. And she spoke.  
“Karkat is far too proud to mention it, but of course I noticed. Not that Equius’s injuries could be explained by… Very many other means.” She chuckled dryly. Her skin shone from sweat in the candlelight, giving her an ethereal look. “Could you describe the assailants?”  
Nepeta thought for a second. “They were two of them. They wore fancy looking blue robes, and had strange masks.”  
“White, with patterns painted in black, around the eyes and mouth?”  
“Yes! Are they common around here?”  
Kanaya paused.  
“No. Not at all.” Her gaze was lowered, leaving her eyes in shadow. Nepeta found the expression grim. “A pen pal of mine wrote to me about them a while ago. He hasn’t written since.”  
Kanaya swallowed loudly. Nepeta had begun to feel light headed, she hoped from the heat.  
Kanaya drained the cloth of sweat one last time. She reached her hand out to Nepeta.  
“I believe the treatment is done. Come.”  
She helped Nepeta rise, but stopped her from reaching toward her clothes. Cautiously, she poured water over the coals to put them out, and blew on the candle to the same effect.  
In the dark, Nepeta could see her opening a latch in the wall and opening a window.  
Nepeta sighed in relief as cool wind and light poured into the room.  
“Wait here one moment.” She instructed, her usual polite pep returning to her voice.  
Kanaya returned with a bucket of water, that was promptly and violently emptied on Nepeta.  
“GAHHHH!” She screeched at the sudden change of temperature.  
“Now now. This too is important for your health.” Kanaya said, as she poured the last of the water on Nepeta’s now somewhat more healed back, holding back laughter. Nepeta hadn’t noticed just how badly her back stung from the salt of her sweat till now.  
“You may dress now.” Kanaya handed the cat girl a fresh cloth to dry herself with, to the sound of her own words being repeated to her in a quiet, deep voice of mockery.  
“So was this whole sweat thing just to have this talk, or is there an actual benefit to it?” Nepeta dried herself rather hurriedly, wanting to put on her clothes as soon as possible.  
“Well…” Kanaya started, lifting the bucket of sweat. “I may have had an ulterior motive. Were you aware that cat folk sweat has healing properties?” Kanaya was aware of the rhetorical nature of her question, but she regretted it the faintest bit when seeing the scornful look of her patient, as she grabbed her dress at either side.  
“...I feel violated.” She said, leaving the cabin to join their ever curious companions, making loud jests at Kanaya’s expense about the nature of her treatment.  
Kanaya stopped to cool her own sweat-covered body, and cast a look at the cheerful cat girl.  
She couldn’t help but furrow her brow with concern as she looked at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Entry 3** : _The Crystal Fungus and Magic Circles_  
>  The crystal fungus, more often referred to as “antimagic crystals”, is the most invaluable flora for a magic user.  
> These fungi are well known for two major properties of theirs: Their crystalline shape and their effect on magic.  
> Their unique shape is the reason they are often mistaken for crystals when they are, in fact, a kind of mold. It is common practice to cut down and raise the fungus to give it specific shapes.  
> They are found in nature in the fur, wool, or hair of many creatures, as well as on certain plants, parasitically feeding off of their magic. This is a great detriment to many creatures as this causes their spells to fail or weaken.  
> The reason these purple clusters are so sought after is because they have the unique property to break down magically created material into pure magical energy in a process much like the use of magic itself. This is very useful for magic users as it allows them to recreate the magical process outside the body using magic circles. Since these fungi feed off of magic it is actually very important that any magician that uses them to cast regularly so that they don’t die.
> 
> Magic circles are constructs of lead and glass, and occasionally some other materials, used to direct magical energy so that it weakens and collides with itself in specific configurations so that it forms certain materials, allowing for magic more complex than normal spells allow. At its core will always be an antimagic crystal, allowing magic users to transform their basic spells to pure energy that will power the circle.


	5. Kanaya and the bush.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group is making an elaborate plan, but can they pull it off?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that it has been a while since a new chapter came out, and I'm afraid that it may a while before another comes out. I'm actually enlisting soon so I'll try and write as much as I can, but I don't know how much I will write. Of course, I was aware of my time limit when I started this, but I never imagined I'd have any people to dissapoint by not continuing this.  
> There is a lot more to my bizarre vision of a magical world that had a little too much and a little too little science applied to it and the plots unfolding to Hussie's characters that I burrowed only because I couldn't be bothered to make my own. How many of you came here for the Explicit rating by the way? How many stayed? I really wonder about this.  
> I may post some supplementary chapters about random stuff, like more lore, or plot stuff, or Eridan's final moment were he triumphantly saves the day and reveals himself as the true protagonist of the story. What a hero.
> 
> Tell me what you think of the writing so far and what you would want to see!

“You guys were in there for damn near an hour! Also, you reek.”  
This was how Sollux greeted Kanaya as she rejoined the group.  
“I don’t smell anything weird,” said Karkat, who was questioning Nepeta as to what Kanaya did to her and the potential damages that may have occurred.  
“That’s because you have Equius’s stench imbedded into your nose,” the spectacled man said.  
“I have a perspiration problem.” Equius said, with venom in his voice.  
Kanaya clapped forcefully, directing all attention toward herself.  
“I suppose I have left you in suspense for long enough. You are probably wondering exactly why I have gathered you here. I believe a friend of mine may be in trouble, and we need to help him.”  
There was a silence as the crowd studied the woman’s face, Karkat and Sollux doing so rather intensely.  
Karkat broke the silence. “How much trouble?”  
“Hopefully about a six.”  
Karkat and Sollux’s faces became a grim mask.  
“That’s bad I assume?” Nepeta looked to Equius for answers, but he merely shrugged, looking just as puzzled as her.  
“I believe that trouble is directly related to those who assailed you last night,” Kanaya continued, “and I believe I know where they are hiding.”  
“I wouldn’t say we were ‘assailed’—” Karkat started, before Kanaya swiftly interjected.  
“You were hurt!”  
“I actually found the fight rather… exhilarating.” Equius huffed.  
“Well, hopefully now with Nepeta’s help, you won’t have to fight. You are adept at sneaking, yes?”  
Nepeta was about to respond, but Sollux cut her off “We already have someone that can sneak in though?”  
“No.”  
“Abso-fucking-lutely not!” Kanaya and Karkat were both quick to shut down his line of thinking.  
Sollux huffed “Get over yourselves. Those girls are the best and you know it.”  
“...He has a point. For once.” Karkat rolled his eyes.  
“Oh up you-!”  
“Can you reach them?” Karkat asked with a serious tone.  
Sollux paused.  
“Yeah, sure.”

Nepeta felt entirely out of the loop at this point.

As the group was walking to where Sollux claimed he could reach ‘those girls’, Nepeta was starting to feel uncomfortable.  
She took a genuine liking to Karkat, and Equius too, but now it seemed in the span of a day her chances of bonding with him, that is to say them, dropped significantly.  
Of course that having a large circle of friends doesn’t stop one from fraternizing with any cat girl one pleases, but now anywhere from 4 to infinity (depending on the amount of ‘girls’) people who are already close to Karkat are joining this adventure. That isn’t bad per se, but it isn’t how Nepeta saw it in her head, but then how did she see it in her head?  
Nepeta was distracted from potentially answering that question by a clammy hand put on her back.  
“You seem concerned.” Equius said in his thick voice.  
“Oh no! I’m-I uh. Yes. Yes I am.” Nepeta sighed.  
“I understand,” Nepeta felt relief. Equius seemed just out of the loop as her. His sympathy was just what she needed right now. “A rescue mission can be deeply emotional for those who haven’t prepared for such things.”  
Nepeta hummed quietly in response, as some form of half-hearted agreement.  
“We’re here.” Sollux said, stopping the travellers.  
“We’re… where?” Nepeta looked around. They had left the town by taking a paved, unmarked, rather uneven road, and ended up in a place whose only remarkable feature is a tree. That tree however, was left unremarkable by the visage of several other trees dotting the landscape. No strange sounds, no atypical smells, just about all of the terrain in clear view. If anyone was here, Nepeta would surely know.  
“This is how I can reach them.” He slipped a piece of paper into a slit in the tree. It made a small ‘thunk’ noise when it hit the bottom.  
Everyone stood and waited, occasionally looking around or at each other.  
After some time, Sollux pointed at a tree some ways away from them, exclaiming “There!”  
The group turned to look at the direction he was pointing at, a depressed area in the ground dotted by some rocks.  
“There?” Kanaya repeated.  
“There. It’s a good place to wait for them to get here and check this tree.”  
Karkat gave Sollux a tired stare.  
“Why. In the name of FUCK. Did you even do this then you braindead feculent shitfister?!”  
“It’s a PROCEDURE asswipe. We put a request in the tree, they check it so long as no one is near, and they get back to us once they do. The system is based on staying in a specific radius around the tree so that they can see us, but we can’t quite see them.”  
Kanaya came up to Sollux and put a hand on his shoulder. “Sollux. Is this organized crime? Are you a criminal? I won’t be mad if you are, but I’ll have concerns.”  
Sollux walked off toward the waiting spot he’d designated.  
“Oh gods he’s a criminal, where did I go wrong?”

Kanaya’s question was never answered. The group sat to wait. Sollux and Karkat amused themselves and others in their conversation that spanned topics as inane as personal opinions on bees to deep philosophical discussions about one’s role in society and how it should come to fruition.  
Nepeta sat silently by Equius and Kanaya, eventually resting her head on Equius’s muscular arm in her boredom.  
Kanaya excused herself to a nearby area with more foliage, enough to optimally cover an adult female’s body should she squat. Her reason was ‘official doctor business’, a motive that Equius was luckily stopped from questioning by Nepeta’s agile hand.  
Just as it seemed Karkat may have been able to create the coveted conversational knot to tie his and Sollux’s conversation together by likening total governmental control to a colony of bees, a shriek was heard from where Kanaya had went.  
“Kanaya?!” Karkat and Sollux both called after her, as Equius and Nepeta nearly leapt out of their seats to rush to her.  
“No wait! It’s um.. it’s a dead cat. It’s a bit decomposed. Really gross. Don’t come near!”  
Each pair of eyes met another, about 3 times in total.  
“Okay!” Equius bellowed, his face contorted into a mix of confusion and concern.  
He moved to sit back down, but Nepeta stopped him.  
“Can we have a little private talk?”  
He nodded, and the pair went a few paces away from the waiting area and vaguely toward Kanaya’s location.  
“What did you want to talk about?”  
Nepeta hesitated.  
“I’m really stressed out right now. We’re doing some really shady business to save someone from a murderous… organization? I don’t even know. But it’s more than that. I left my home looking for adventure and new things, because I couldn’t bear to stay there, but now I’m with people I don’t know doing something I don’t understand using MAGIC I don’t know.”  
Equius embraced Nepeta. “I understand you completely. I too left my homeland behind seeking thrills in the great wide unknown.” He paused. “No, that isn’t quite true. I didn’t leave by my own volition, not truly. I was sent here for a definite amount of time, that I have made indefinite. I miss my home, and I feel stressed and scared, and quite damp, most hours of the day. But this does not bother me.”  
“How come?” Nepeta asked, her arms limp and eyes closed.  
“Because I have master Karkat with me. I couldn’t possibly be scared with my master next to me. You should find someone that can give you the same comfort.”  
Nepeta prodded at Equius to get him to stop the embrace. “I will. Thank you Equius!” She smiled at him.  
The whole group got together once more, each member turning their attention to a silhouette standing by a tree, reading a letter.  
An arm outstretched.  
A thumb raised.  
“That’s our cue.” Sollux said with a sly smile.  
“I just gotta take you to a little secondary location.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Entry 4:** _Elemental Fauna_  
>  While the vast majority of known organisms are magical, some lifeforms, often considered more primitive, only contain one kind of magic cell for both internal and external use. These are known as elemental fauna, or Elementals. The following are some common examples:  
> -Lava Golems, a form of fire Elemental. Though they take the shape of a smooth rock, black with red stripes that resemble lava, they are in fact animals, crustaceans specifically. Their rocky exterior is very hot due to their constant use of fire magic, and is made partially from calcium formed from their body, but mostly from rocks gathered and melted together during the early stages of their life.  
> They can often be found near the sea, on rocky shores. It is a common trick to figure out where the tide is highest by seeing where the Lava Golems end.  
> Much like how plants feed off of sunlight to produce energy, Lava Golems do so with magic energy, giving their body enough energy to function as well as producing lots of heat. They may be found out of their shells at night time when they leave to eat the little they do, absorb moisture from the air (found in great abundance due to water evaporating off of their and their peers’ shells), and breed.  
> Some places employ the use of these creatures to produce their own hot springs.  
> They are believed to share a common ancestry with Charcoal Lobsters.  
> -Jewel Bugs, a form of earth Elemental. Jewel Bugs have a very special way of using their earth magic. Their defense from predators is to make diamonds on their exoskeleton, and roll up into a ball. These small creatures are hunted constantly for their valuable shell, and may be at risk of extinction, as previously to their discovery by the sapient races they could only be reliably dealt with by Blade Beetles that could cut past their tough exterior.  
> -Slimes, a form of water Elemental. They are germ-like creatures that use water magic and their own mucus to surround themselves with a gelatin that they trap prey in. They can go from as small as about 5 centimeters in diameter to as big as 30, and are known to ‘merge’ together in colonies to form bigger slimes. They also come in many colors, and while they are considered a common nuisance, some people take to collecting them. They are mostly harmless creatures, though considered unhygienic by most.  
> -Mine Fish, a form of air Elemental. Should you see these fish, bright yellow and round, it is highly suggested you leave the water. These fish have taken to using air magic to store large amounts of nitrogen in a specialized sack in their bodies, that they then apply great pressure to, and thus detonate. In that detonation, you may see many small fish suddenly swarm out of the detonated body. Those are the children of the Mine Fish. For years science has failed to recognize how those are made, as the only successfully captured Mine Fish were female. It was then discovered that male Mine Fish do not grow in their entire lifespan, and get their genetic material into the female by way of being digested.


	6. Implied shortstack.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux's mysterious friends make some mysterious plans...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still alive!

It was already dusk when they received their ‘cue’, as Sollux put it. He was now leading them to a more heavily forested area where very little light came through the thick treetops.  
“That’s close enough!” a sing-song voice commanded from above them.  
The group stopped. They all began looking up around them nervously, except for Sollux whose gaze remained fixed forward, and Karkat who crossed his arms and sulked as if avoiding an invisible gaze.  
A chorus of giggles emerged from the forest as the same silhouette that they saw by the tree appeared, cloaked in what appeared to be a brown fur sheet. It was very tall, possibly surpassing Equius if not hunched. Was this one of the ‘girls’? Nepeta knew that many kinds of people and creatures exist outside the desert, but she didn’t know exactly what. She was almost frightened to think of what these tall, thin, cloaked beings may be capable of that allowed them to sneak so well.  
However, her fears subsided when the sheet opened to reveal two small, distinctly female shapes stacked on top of each other.  
‘Oh.’ Nepeta thought.  
One jumped off the other, both giggling their high-pitched giggles. Well, the one formerly on top giggled, the other would be better described as having cackled.

Sollux bent his knees and shook their hands. They picked up his hand at the same time, quite gingerly, one giving a curtsy as well. This was followed by another round of laughter. All the while Nepeta, took good looks at them.  
The giggling one, same one that curtsied, had long black hair and a dangerous sharpness to all her features. The other, the one that cackled, had shorter brown hair and an air of smarm about her. Most of all Nepeta couldn’t help but focus on their bodies. They couldn’t have been much larger than a meter tall, certainly never crossing close to a meter and a half. This coupled by their constant energetic laughter and behavior would lead one to believe those were children, indeed girls, but their bodies were undeniably those of women, fully grown.  
Equius huffed. “Gnomes.”

“Soooooooolluuuuuuuux!~” the longer haired gnome sang, “What have you brought for us today? I see new faces!” Comically, she grabbed Sollux’s shirt and used it to swing herself onto his shoulder. She took a look at the group’s expressions, ranging from disdain to confusion.  
“And old ones too!” the other laughed, “Say Vriska, isn’t this Karkat?”. She asked her question in an overly exaggerated manner, the one that makes it clear she knew the answer well.  
Vriska turned to face him, still on the ever neutral Sollux. “Why I believe it is!”  
Karkat groaned.  
“Say Terezi, isn’t he from that one night?” Vriska asked.  
“When we stole that barrel of glow wine?” Terezi answered by way of asking.  
Kanaya whined.  
“And he wanted to fight that cop?” Vriska continued.  
“And he sh-”  
“THAT’S ENOUGH!” Karkat interrupted.  
There was a silence.  
“Master, is that the night before I-”  
“UPUPUP!” Karkat waved him arms wildly.

Sollux removed Vriska from his shoulder much like how one would lift a cat off their person and put her down.  
“So how much to get your help?”  
The two girls pressed into each other and began whispering, occasional laughter still escaping them.  
Their faces became very serious. In unison they reached out their hands and said:  
“20.”  
Sollux huffed and grumbled, but reached into his pockets to provide the coins.  
“Each.” Terezi said.  
He sighed and turned to Kanaya, who sighed in turn, but nonetheless both handed their money to the girls.  
“May we do the rest of this in a more well-lit area?” Kanaya asked the pair.

The group moved to a small clearing. Behind them was a wall with a few holes dug into it. It reminded Nepeta greatly of a burrow, like one that a hare may be found in, but built for a larger creature, say not much larger than a meter tall.  
The clearing was lit by a variety of mismatched lanterns strewn haphazardly on the ground. Two of said lanterns were used to hold a sheet a paper in place. That paper, as Kanaya explained, was a map detailing the build of an abandoned guard post found on the other side of a lake far to the southeast. This translated to Nepeta as a long walk.  
“All the guard posts built at the time looked about the same as they were needed quickly, and were abandoned just as quickly. This makes them a common place for people to seek shelter, for whatever purposes they need it. I believe our target will be in the cellar here.”  
She pointed to a rectangular shape at the bottom of the map, drawn in green dye.  
“Do you think you could come up with a plan to get inside and get him out?”  
The two girls went to study the map.  
“One more thing. Take her, Nepeta, with you.” Kanaya pointed to the dozing cat girl behind her.  
“Excuse me?” Nepeta snapped from her daze.  
“You will carry him out.” Kanaya said plainly. Nepeta was more than prepared to voice potential objections about that idea, but before she could Kanaya smiled kindly at her and said “I uniquely trust you to do this.”  
Nepeta said nothing and nodded.  
Vriska and Terezi looked at each other, then Nepeta.  
“Well get in here long-stuff!” Vriska called.  
Nepeta crouched by the two, and Terezi began to speak.  
“So first, if there are any guards outside, I’ll disperse them. They’re sure to still keep watch, but well, I’ll make sure it won’t be from the outside…” She grinned. Nepeta found this unsettling. She chose not to ask about her exact plans.  
Vriska continued “Now the question is how do we get in? The doors are sure to be guarded and they’ll be watching from any windows.”  
“How many people will even be there?” Sollux asked.  
Kanaya answered “We have no way of knowing, but planning for a worst case scenario is probably best.”

As the group thought up solutions to the problem Vriska posed, Equius saw fit to interject.  
“If I may, I think there is a fine way to avoid any interruption and still scale these walls.” He motioned toward Nepeta’s bow, habitually hung on her shoulder, with his hand.  
A moment passed. The rest of the group studying the bow, Equius seeming satisfied with himself, and Nepeta staring blankly as if not quite processing the proposition yet.  
“Yeah… Yeah!~ I think I can make that work.” Vriska’s chuckling sounded more sinister than it had before.  
“If we shoot a rope to here,” she pointed at a terrace on the east side of the structure, “we can make our way through here,” she dragged her finger to a small caricature of a ladder, presumably indicating an entry to the inside of the building, “and then right through here is the cellar.” Sollux came to take a better look at the map. “...That’s the floor. There’s no entry from there.”  
“Not yet there isn’t!” Vriska began laughing uncontrollably, Terezi joining her.  
“And that’s where you come in!” She poked Nepeta in the ribs, alarming her.  
“You get in through there and grab him! Boom, mission accomplished.”  
“She still needs to EXIT, Vriska.” Terezi reminded her partner. This soured Vriska’s expression.  
“Well uhh…”  
“Okay before you go further, I feel a need to disturb this meeting of the minds.” Karkat started.  
“What’s stopping them from taking you out once you’re on the very conspicuous rope?”  
Terezi gave Karkat a sly look. “What are you here for sword boy? Be a distraction for us, won’t you? Hehe, it even saves me having to do crowd control!”  
Karkat sneered. “I’m only agreeing because I would do a job thousands of times better than you. Equius and Sollux will help me.”  
“Yes Master.”   
“Oh, come on.”  
“And as for your exit problem… Well they probably won’t have as many people in the cellar at that point right? You could probably go out the back here and be just fine.” As Karkat finished he crossed his arms in a very confident manner.  
“A great plan as always from Master Karkat.” Equius clapped.  
“Okay cut the brown nosing, if you were kissing my boot any harder you’d be sucking my toes.”  
Kanaya opened her mouth to speak, paused, then continued “So is he on your feet or your…”  
“Yes.” Came the reply from both master and servant.

With a bizarre image and a somewhat formulated plan in mind the group had started settling in for a rest.  
The Gnomes moved into the holes in the wall, crawling in a way that seemed oddly natural. The rest started pitching tents. There were four in total, and five people.  
“Girl’s tent?” Sollux suggested.  
“Oh no, it’s fine. I didn’t bring a tent because I enjoy sleeping outdoors.” Nepeta waited for a second before continuing further. “Isn’t one person per tent a bit… Lonely?”  
“I am NOT sharing a tent with Equius.” Karkat said.  
“And I do not fancy the nightly company of any man. Equius happens to be included.” Kanaya said.  
“I am very hurt by these statements, but I understand.” Equius concluded before entering his tent.  
The last to go to rest were Kanaya and Nepeta. Kanaya gave the cat girl one last concerned look before retiring, but said nothing. Nepeta did not meet her gaze.  
once the doctor was inside her cloth room and all was silent, Nepeta collapsed to the ground and groaned softly.  
“I can’t do this…”

“I think you require assistance.” The rumbling voice caused Nepeta’s heart to jump, but her body stayed still.  
“Equius? N-No I’m fine…” Her voice trailed off.  
“I can recognize when a person is hurt. I don’t know why Kanaya hadn’t offered assistance yet, but that is beside the point. Why do you deny yourself rest? You haven’t slept yesterday either, and during no point today did you attempt a nap, despite our very lax time.”  
Nepeta just looked at Equius’s face, seeming wide and flipped from her perspective on the ground, and said nothing.  
This silence lasted a long time, before she said.  
“I can’t sleep because… It- It’s embarrassing.”  
“Try me.” He put a hand to her cheek. It threatened to engulf her head, and smelled salty. “Like the ocean” she murmured.  
“I can’t sleep because. Because I can’t… I can’t sleep by myself.”  
Equius gave a dry chuckle, and Nepeta swatted his hand away.  
“It’s just how things are where I’m from! You always sleep in a group. I guess I don’t know why we do it, but we just do… And I thought I could go without it but…”  
Equius picked her up with no strain.  
“Well it can’t be helped then.”  
Equius put Nepeta down in his tent and laid next to her.  
“...Thank you.”  
Nepeta snuggled into Equius’s fragrant chest.  
“Thank you…” Equius repeated softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Entry 5:** _Magic Inflicted Illness_  
>  While mentioned briefly in Entry 2, magic illness is something that all creatures of this world must take notice of, as it can affect all living beings. In this entry we will discuss it in more detail.  
> Magic illness has two varieties: Hypomagica and Hypermagica.  
> Hypermagica is the kind of illness mentioned in the context of smoke flowers. As stated there, it is caused when one enters an area with an overabundance of magic energy. This can be caused due to exposure to magic crystals (Not to be confused with the crystal fungus, the “antimagic crystal”), a weather phenomenon known as “dull sky” or “starry day”, or a very large colony of crystal fungi, although rarely.  
> Magic crystals are crystals found in the ground, most commonly they will be found in mining shafts, where excavation of the ground had already begun, but there are recorded accounts of magic crystals falling from the sky. These crystals radiate varying amounts of magic energy, and some people believe it is healthy to keep them around yourself. However, there have been as many reports of these crystals causing improvements in one’s health as there have been reports of them causing hypermagica. It is generally advised to keep them on your person only to combat hypomagica.  
> “Dull sky” and “starry day” are names given to two states of a certain weather phenomenon. Should you find that in the area around the sky has suddenly gone a duller shade of blue or has become gray, that would mean that the area has an abundance of magical energy coming from the sun*. In that case, it is advised that you remove yourself from the area, lest the condition escalate to a starry day. While a dull sky may cause hypermagica or symptoms thereof, a starry day is sure to cause hypermagica and is very likely to kill any creature in the area.  
> Starry days get their name from the way that both the stars and sun appear at the same time on the black sky. This can occur at either day or night, but it is only noticeable so long as the sun is visible, and while it will have some effects during the night, it is only really dangerous during daytime.  
> Luckily, both are very rare.
> 
> The symptoms of Hypermagica are as follows:  
> First, your body will begin casting spells uncontrollably to expel some amount of magic energy from your body. Rocks, smoke, fire, water, steam, bursts of air, etc.  
> All of these will escape your body at escalating power while you are under the effects of hypermagica. This is the stage that is most known to cause death, as different spells recklessly collide and cause destruction around the affected creature.  
> However, if one survives this and continues to suffer hypermagica, they will begin vomiting and soiling themselves, like in the case of a very bad stomach virus. Their skin will begin eroding, they will begin losing hair, and certain parts of their anatomy will dry out, like their eyes for instance.  
> Hypermagica is considered one of the worst ways to die.
> 
> Hypomagica is, simply, the opposite of hypermagica. It is a state where your body lacks enough radiation to regulate itself correctly. Hypomagica has no clear cause. Certain environmental conditions that are harder to classify than the ones that cause hypermagica lead to there not being a lot of magic energy in one place. This is mostly caused by very crowded environments or by lack of exposure to the sun, such as deep underground (Although the existence of magic crystals in the earth can ward against that.)
> 
> The symptoms of hypomagica are as follows:  
> The inability to cast spells, or spells cast far weaker than nomal. This is usually followed by fits of hunger and thirst, and a difficulty to breathe. Since your body can’t sustain itself off of magic energy while in a hypomagic state, it then relies on outside sources like food and drink. This however, is a bandage solution, as your body will run out of energy far quicker than normal, and you may find yourself being very sleepy, or even fainting due to fatigue. Hypomagica isn’t as gruesomely lethal as hypermagica, but it is still a state of illness that should be avoided. People who tend to shut themselves away from the world and keep themselves in dark rooms for the majority of the day usually suffer some mild hypomagica.  
> Vitamin D deficiency is an illness sometimes mistaken for hypomagica, but it is quite different and will not be covered in this guide.
> 
>  
> 
> *As we all know, the sun is one of the greater suppliers of magic energy to our world.


	7. Buff man gets rock hard.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when Nepeta was feeling well rested, another assualt comes her way...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! Am I going to be writing more regularly? Maybe! Can I promise a schedule?  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> Y'all have been on this site before right?
> 
> By the way, some new faces in this one! Not Homestuck characters though, because I didn't want to waste them on NPCs that aren't gonna show up again (probably). Where are the names from? Tis a mystery.  
> This one gets a little foreshadowy, so keep notes.

Nepeta breathed in deeply, eyes still closed. She felt more calm in this moment than any other moment on her journey. She pawed around herself, feeling nothing.  
“Equius?” she asked in a sleepy murmur.  
“Equius?” she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and just barely rose enough to look around herself.  
Empty.  
She stretched in about 6 different positions before poking her head out of the tent.

“I know you’re anxious about getting your friend but we’re going to need a day’s preparation anyway, and it’s a small detour!”  
“Karkat, I understand you have a weird diet, but this is an emergency! We don’t have time to stuff our faces!”  
Karkat and Kanaya argued loudly, holding the map between them. Sollux sat on the ground by them, rubbing the bridge of his nose, and neither the gnomes nor Equius were anywhere to be seen.  
Nepeta exited the tent, drawing the group’s attention.  
All were frozen in stunned silence, save for Nepeta.  
“...Are you okay?”  
Hints of an answer began to form on the faces and lips of each person individually, but failed to fully escape their mouths. Sollux broke the silence.  
“Why were you in Equius’s tent?”  
“Uh.”  
The silence returned with a vengeance.  
Nepeta stood frozen.  
Karkat stood frozen.  
Kanaya stood frozen.  
Sollux had more of a casual lean thing going on against the tree he was sitting near, and his legs were idly moving, so he certainly wasn’t standing nor was he frozen, but the spirit of standing frozen seemed to rest within him nonetheless.  
Perhaps in some attempt to more properly channel that spirit, Sollux stood and looked at the map. “So where did you say you wanted to go?”  
“...Uh this little place called Swolnersburg.”  
“Yeah Kanaya, if memory serves, I think we have time to stuff our faces.”  
Recognition flashed across Kanaya’s features.  
“Fine. I guess a day of preparation is fine.”

Equius appeared from out of the woods, approaching the party.  
“Master, you really mustn’t skip your morning exercises. Not to mention, they can get quite… lonely, without you.”  
“Relax, I don’t have to be particularly warmed up for anything today.”  
“You are aware that you have just doomed us by virtue of saying that, yes?” Kanaya asked in a light-hearted tone.  
“Yes, yet I refuse to remedy my actions.”  
“Where are the girls?” Sollux asked his muscled friend.  
“Heeeeeeeere~” The answer came from within the stone wall, as two small women climbed out of the holes lining it.  
“I really wish you could visit our home, it’s expertly designed.” Terezi snickered.  
“It really isn’t. This woman does not understand color theory.”  
This was the first time Vriska had said anything in a serious tone. It added an odd darkness to her words, despite their banality.  
“So are you all ready to go now?” She said in her usual tone, half condescending, half obnoxiously cheerful.  
“I believe we are.” Kanaya concluded, sparring a final look at her companions, Nepeta and Equius in particular.

As the group travelled the amount of trees covering the land began to dwindle. As they were nearing noon the land had transitioned from thick forest to green bushy plains almost completely.  
With their line of sight largely unobscured the group could see the wagon riding toward them, pulled by two donkeys.  
“I wish they were going the other way.” Nepeta mused.  
“Why?” Sollux asked, sounding distracted, though Nepeta was unsure by what.  
“Because maybe then we could ask them for a ride.”  
“We could still do it technically, although the chances are super slim.”  
As if on cue, the wagon started drifting off the dirt road it was riding on and toward the untamed green, then straightened its course, making a half-circle around the party.  
However, the turn was not completed, as a bolt of fire shot from the back of the wagon, where a young man was now visible.  
“OH SHIT DUCK!” Sollux cried.  
An explosion rang out and dust rose all around. The group started coughing and couldn’t help but close their eyes against the incoming rain of dirt and shield their ears from the booming sound of the impact. That is, save for Nepeta who was only covering her ears, and Sollux who was only coughing.  
As a catfolk, Nepeta’s biology made her uniquely accustomed to storms of sand and dust, and as for Sollux, his eyes were protected by the shades he perpetually wears, and his ears by two clumps of dried wax, connected by string, he had stuck in his ears.

“Did you seriously not hit any of them?” Called a masculine voice. A man of considerable height and brawn jumped from the wagon, leather armor, wooden shield, and steel axe signifying his intentions and trade clearly.  
“Oh, you try and shoot from a moving wagon, see how you like it!” A smaller man, positioned at the very end of the wagon, dressed in more ordinary clothes, and holding a thick white wand with intricate carvings on it, rebutted.  
“Guys, they’re getting up,” chimed a cat boy holding on to the donkey’s reins.  
“Right. Max, give me a pick-me-up.”  
Max, a woman of surprising height, though not surpassing the armored man, and reddish skin, came out of the wagon clutching a lute. The lute had many light purple crystals covering it, like a sparkling crust. She began to play it furiously, and the man holding the wand pointed his ornate weapon at the group once more, as his armored companion charged.

Axe was suddenly blocked by blade as Karkat charged in turn, shouting in a language unfamiliar to Nepeta.  
The armored man responded. Though the words were unfamiliar, the tone was easy enough to understand: The man was mocking Karkat, and Karkat was angry.  
“HAAAH!” Sounds of strain came from Equius, as he clasped his hands and flexed hard. Dark rocks formed on his hands and arms, and he charged at his master’s foe.  
Though under attack by two foes, the man managed to push against his assailants enough to get in a few swings, all the while expertly blocking the incoming strikes.

Another bolt came from the wand, but this time it was met by a much larger burst of flame coming from Sollux’s outstretched hands. The two collided in a great explosion that knocked the wand out of its wielder’s hand, as well as launching the wielder himself and a piece of the wagon’s roof away.  
He hit the ground hard with an audible ‘oof’ sound, then saw his wand in the distance.  
“Shit!” He scrambled to his feet to retrieve his lost weapon, now stuck in a thicket of bushes, but was stopped by a loud “Hey!” coming from his flank.

Nepeta charged at the panicked mage with her knife.  
“SHIT!” He went through his pockets quickly to retrieve another instrument with which to cast a spell.  
“Ahhhhh you can do it Nitai!” Max sputtered from her position on the wagon, still playing.  
Right before Nepeta’s knife made contact with him, Nitai pushed the small metallic contraption to the ground, causing a spire of earth to rise and hit Nepeta back.  
Nitai dashed to his wand once more, but was stopped by a blast of flame that scorched his clothing.  
“I got your back!” Sollux called as he began fiddling with his magic circle.  
“ARTHUR!!” Nitai screamed.  
“Gah-wha-VINE ATTACK!” Arthur, the cat boy, threw a handful of seeds at Sollux, which spurred Max to play faster while making unintelligible noises from her mouth.  
In reaction to this, the seeds burst to allow stringy vines to gather all around Sollux, grabbing him.  
“CAN WE ALL STOP YELLING?!” Called the armored man.  
In this moment, his foe’s attention slightly diverted from the fight, Karkat lunged in with the hooked side of his sword, managing to grab and tear the man’s armor at the torso.  
“Oh fu-” Equius delivered a strong punch to the exposed stomach of the enemy.  
“Collin!” Arthur called after him. He produced a rope with some cloth covering its end. He removed the cloth and threw it at Collin. Whatever material was at the end of the rope, it stuck to Collin and allowed Arthur to pull him back, by pulling a nearby lever.  
Karkat’s slash that was meant to strike Collin at the neck, then simply slashed across his exposed torso.

“Shouldn’t you be helping?” Kanaya questioned the two diminutive ladies that have joined her in watching the fight unfold from afar.  
“Eh, maybe if someone dies.” Terezi replied.

Sollux burned away the vines entangling him, and Nepeta was quickly closing the distance with Nitai, who was all too close to getting his wand.  
Nepeta grumbled, not sure if she can stop him before getting fatally hit by the magic weapon. In desperation she called:  
“Secret magic powers go!!!”  
Surprising everyone, the secret magic powers went.  
A massive twister arose from between Nitai and Nepeta, beating on both of them, and temporarily stopping the fighting as they were both sent far back, and others nearly lost their balance.  
“...Nice” Said Nepeta, still on her back.

Karkat pressed the tip of his blade to the back of Nitai’s neck, stopping him from getting up.  
“Okay, what’s the deal here? You with those weird clown people you incredible maggotfucking asswipe?!”  
“What? No! Nonono!! Fuck those guys! We were just kinda- y’know we were” “Were what?!”  
Nitai paused for a short moment.  
“Robbing you.”  
Karkat huffed and was suddenly thrown backwards.  
He had been suplexed by a person who was not there before, a man, with the same reddish skin as Max.  
“Take that!” He called.  
A small blast of fire shot toward his crotch, causing him to drop Karkat with not nearly the amount of force intended.  
“AHH! My ambiguous genitalia!” Max called as she deflated back to her original appearance, wide body giving way to more feminine features.

“Don’t think you’ve won!” Collin called as his axe plunged right into Equius’s rocky arm.  
To no effect.  
“I think they might have won…” Arthur said, still in the wagon.

 

The conflict died down, the group of robbers, having largely failed to cause damage, backed down when faced with the considerably more powerful party.  
“We should execute them for their crimes! Look they even have an axe just for that, it’s perfect!” Terezi cackled.  
“Now, now, be reasonable. There is no reason to kill anyone. You may buy your life from us for that wagon.”  
The four would-be robbers looked at one another in disbelief.  
“But… It’s our wagon.” Max said in a depressed tone.  
“Alright, your lives it is.” At the sound of Kanaya’s words, Karkat’s sword went up.  
“OKAY OKAY OKAY you can have the wagon!” Nitai said, tired and desperate.  
“Splendid! I will give you the courtesy of removing your belongings from it first, but it is missing a bit of roof so we WILL be taking the donkey.”  
“Wait ‘the’ donkey? There’s supposed to be two.” Collin said, looking toward the wagon, where only one donkey was visible.  
“...Well, we wouldn’t have had any donkeys anyway, so I guess this is okay.” Arthur said, potentially as some attempt at optimism.  
“Do you guys think we should try a different career?” Collin asked his companions.  
“We should start a band!” Max said.  
“We should TOTALLY start a band!” Nitai beamed.

In the end, Nepeta and her friends rode a somewhat stolen wagon toward their destination, driven by two gnomes that have decided they now belong on the back of a donkey, but one question remained on her mind.  
“So why was that girl playing the lute like her life depended on it? What did it do?”  
“Oh, one of the ways magicians try to ‘buff’ themselves, so to speak, is to put more magic energy in the area around them. So they just have someone else use antimagic crystals near them to do that. The instrument playing is frankly unnecessary but it helps some people use magic so… To each their own?” Sollux explained and followed it up with a shrug.

Unbeknownst to the group, Nitai had not been able to retrieve his wand, its location as unknown as that of the lost donkey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Entry 6** : _Extracorporeal Magic_  
>  More commonly known as ‘Spells’, the use of magic outside of one's body. This is the most common phenomenon associated with magic itself and is what is most often referred to as magic.  
> The four basic spells, which most people are capable of doing from a very young age to different capacities, are as follows:  
> Fire- Creates a small burst of fire.  
> Air- Creates a gust of air. Though some consider this a good way to help a person struggling to breathe, or to cool oneself on a hot day, the high level of nitrogen in air magic actually makes this magic better at suffocating than at assisting one to breathe.  
> Water- Creates a splash of water. Most often tepid and in some people comes out as vapors.  
> Earth- Creates a small cloud of dust. Depending on the person this could produce a colorless, unbreathable gas, a cloud of dust as mentioned before, as it is most common, a dust that is not blown away immediately upon creation, or a small chunk of coal. People believe that the shape of your earth magic has some effect on your personality, but there’s no evidence to support that, or rather the evidence is considered circumstantial or unscientific.
> 
> All other spells are really a combination of these four. Though skilled magicians may make it appear otherwise, any non-basic spell is created outside of the body, as a result of the use of these spells.  
> Spells done with magic circles are the only exception to this as they are produced within the magic circle out of pure energy (as covered in Entry 3).  
> The following are some examples of spells:  
> Fireball- Considered a wizardly classic. For the most part it is just a fire spell, but there are those that reinforce it with other magic, namely water magic. The hydrogen in water magic, if used correctly, can create even stronger fires than fire magic can by itself.
> 
> Stoneskin- An earth magic that involves creating a thick layer of carbon on one’s skin, giving the user a hard exterior.
> 
> Gemskin- A more complex version of Stoneskin, it involves arranging the carbon on one’s skin in a particular shape such that gems form on the skin. It is much tougher than its counterpart.  
> There is work being done on potentially creating an even stronger spell in this vein, but it has yet to be completed in a meaningful way.
> 
> Lightning Bolt/Whirlwind- Grouped together as “Storm Magic”, these spells rely on using air and fire magic to create contrasting temperatures of air around the user. When done correctly, this results in a replication of the same phenomena that cause actual whirlwinds and lightning, but at a smaller scale. Water magic is often introduced to this as well.
> 
> Magic Missile- A spell only performable with a magic circle. The spell involves the creation of a potassium, nitrogen, and oxygen molecule: Potassium nitrate, or saltpeter. Combined with carbon and sulfur this creates the material commonly known as “Black Powder”. The magic circle will then sheathe in a thin solid layer of carbon, namely coal, and ignites it. The result is a bolt of fire that, after a short amount of time or on contact with a hard surface that breaks the coal, explodes.
> 
> Rock Spire- An example of how one can use a magic circle to make up for their own lack of innate magical ability. This spell merely creates a spire of stone, something that is possible using basic earth magic, but that many prefer to do with a magic circle as it is easier for most.


	8. Spider roleplay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unsettling secret about Karkat will soon come to light...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally made a new chapter! I'm gonna be honest, I tried to start this one months ago, got stuck, and just didn't pick it up again. I really do like this chapter so I feel kind of silly now!  
> I'm gonna do my best to make more. Please leave a comment and tell me what you think!

Sollux laid on what was previously the back wall of the wagon, which as it turned out, could be collapsed into a ramp.  
Above him the gnomes threw and caught a small wooden ball across the short width of the wagon in turn.  
Equius sat across from Kanaya, poking at the fire they had started earlier. All the while, the donkey grazed.  
“Balthazaar!” Terezi stated.  
“That’s a really weird name.” Sollux said, eyes closed. “How about like, Jerry?”  
“Snoooooooore~!” Vriska sang, “The objectively best name for this donkey is ‘Terrance Donn Bun the Ambivalent Porter’.”  
“No, you’re a dork and that name’s too long.” Terezi argued, throwing the ball back at Vriska.  
“Wah- YOU’RE a dork!” Vriska said, chucking the ball at her friend.  
The two continued to argue, leaving Sollux to fruitlessly attempt relaxation in the company of his friends.

Nepeta walked to the fire with two vaguely log-shaped objects in her arms. Karkat followed with three more, struggling to hold them. “We’ve got meat.” he said, dropping the grasshopper carcasses by the fire.  
Kanaya made a face at the insinuation that this will be their dinner.  
Vriska made a different sort of face; something between excited and an emotion mostly not brought up over dinner.  
“Thanks for your help Karkat!” Nepeta beamed at him as she organised the five kills.  
“You’re extremely welcome.” Karkat grinned, “But what did I do again?”  
“I would have been able to trap these without you! I never hunted grasshoppers before. I tried beetle trapping once, but they kept wriggling into the sand anyway. Eventually I got it when my- you know what I’m rambling, how do we prepare these?”  
Karkat started walking her through the process, to Kanaya’s abject horror.  
“After they’ve over the fire for a bit, squish them up on both sides to get the guts out, like a potato.”  
“A what?” Nepeta asked.  
“...I literally have no way to answer that question. I’m honestly sorry for the life you’ve had that led you here. Truly I-”  
Karkat’s tirade was cut short by Vriska, grabbing one of the bugs’ heads and hissing “Leave this one raw~ I wanna suck its brains… Huhuhuhu” She chuckled.  
“Don’t let her. She keeps trying and all it does is make her sick.” Terezi said from her position on Ragnamos, the donkey.  
“SICK WITH POWER!!!” The smaller woman exclaimed.  
“Well, I believe this dinner has already satisfied my appetite. Now please, I must get away from the smell…” Kanaya excused herself away from the fire.

The sleeping arrangements had changed slightly from the previous night, as one tent was used to replace the roof of the wagon. Kanaya cleverly used this opportunity to claim that she should have the right to sleep in the wagon, since her tent was now the roofing.  
Sollux relinquished his tent at gnome-point, and entered Karkat’s with as much arguing as one would expect, none of which was backed with action.  
Nepeta and Equius quietly slept by each other, Nepeta still having the image of their companions’ faces from the morning before in her mind.

During the ride toward their next destination, the town named ‘Swolnersburg’, Kanaya enacted another scheme of hers:  
She’d managed to convince the gnomes to take the less scenic route and get into the wagon as opposed to on the back of their beast of burden. Next she convinced Nepeta to join her in steering it, by grabbing her and sitting her at the wagon’s front, separated by wood from their friends.  
“So you must be wondering why I brought you here.” Kanaya started, keeping steady hold of the reins.  
“Navigation?” Mused Nepeta, as she looked at the maps provided to her by Karkat and Equius before the drive started.  
Kanaya scooched closer to the cat girl, making the latter just the faintest bit uncomfortable. She gave her a sideward glance and said in a soft voice, “I’d noticed earlier that you weren’t the most vital. I’d assumed it was some sort of shock from your attack, but I think I can see now…”  
“You know I thought this place was colder than home but now I suddenly feel really warm, are you warm?” Nepeta could feel her heartbeat growing faster.  
“Now I can rela- well I actually can’t relate at all, but I can understand at least, I mean Equius is rather-”  
“WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT EXACTLY?!” You would need to have very keen eyes to see a blush on Nepeta’s face. However, you would need just a garden variety eye to see that she was clearly embarrassed over some implication or other.  
“Is someone hatching crazy schemes without me? You have to tell me if it’s a crazy scheme.” Sollux piped up from beyond the wall.  
“It’s nothing, Sollux!” Kanaya said back. “Come on darling, it’s perfectly fine if you did, you’ve still got a beating heart and functioning-”  
Nepeta silently put her hand on Kanaya’s mouth. “It was just sleeping. Lying unconscious. That is it.”  
Kanaya delicately moved Nepeta’s hand away from her with a finger. “Well if you ever need to talk, I’m here.”  
“Speaking of ‘here’...” Nepeta looked from her map to the view in front of them. The first signs of civilization became clearer and clearer on the horizon.  
“This should be it, yes.”

 

Once they had reached the town proper, the group dismounted.  
The town’s stone buildings and roads were decorated with myriad ribbons and flags.  
“We have one main goal here:” Karkat stopped his allies’ musing at the decor. “We need supplies for the coming mission. Now let’s pool our money together so-”  
“Already done!” Vriska grinned.  
A sense of unease fell on everyone save for Terezi and Sollux. “I know what you’re thinking, but if Vriska has one honorable trait it’s that she’ll give it back so long as she isn’t planning a stupidly big purchase.” Sollux explained.  
“Hand on my heart!” Vriska swore, hand firmly on her right breast.  
Karkat sighed. “Okay, well, just help us get everything we’ll need for this. We already went over the plan so just pick up anything that seems necessary. Sollux, make sure they aren’t doing dumb shit. Well that they’re doing LESS dumb shit. For safety we should all probably pair up. Now, I have important business to attend to, so I’ll be taking Equius with me.”  
“Actually!” Kanaya quickly interjected, “I think Equius should go with Nepeta. I trust the both of them more with finances, you see.”  
“While I agree Equius should help with supplying everything if we are only going in groups of two, he can’t go with Nepeta.” Sollux said.  
“And why is that?” Equius asked, noticeably inching closer to his master.  
“You’re coming with me. I’m on supplies too.” The lanky man announced.  
“What?” Kanaya, Karkat, and Equius exclaimed.  
“YOU said I need to stop people from doing dumb shit with the money, Mr. Leader.” Sollux smirked.  
“That is CLEARLY twisting my words you douchy, sniveling clusterfuck of a man!” Karkat stepped closer, lowered his voice, and raised his glance at Sollux “What’s your game here?”  
“So, Equius, my good friend, what do you say? We never spend time alone, you know.”  
“Um, I, well… I need a towel.” Equius had begun perspiring.  
“Fine.” Karkat said, stepping away “I’ll be going with Nepeta then.”  
“Why do I feel like a consolation prize…” Nepeta murmured.  
Kanaya shot Sollux a dirty look, which was met by an overly innocent smile. “I also have some matters that require my attention, so I’ll be going alone.”  
“I’m taking Baron Fueller the Third!” Vriska said, mounting the newly crowned noble.  
“Great, we need someone to watch our stuff, and at this point I’m fine with letting the cat guard the cream.” Karkat said, pinching the bridge of his nose.  
Vriska groaned. Terezi spoke softly to her friend. “Don’t worry, I won’t leave you alone with Martooth.”  
“Ugh, your names are always so boring~.” Vriska said, stretching the vowels of the word ‘boring’.  
“...Ass Master.” Equius said, stone faced.  
“...We could call him Asster for short.” Sollux reasoned.  
Karkat rubbed his temples and looked toward Nepeta, mouthing ‘Save me’.  
“Okay, Equius and Sollux are on supplies, Vriska and Terezi are our guards, Kanaya does her thing, and I’m going with Karkat! No time to waste!” Nepeta grabbed Karkat’s wrist and started marching in a random direction.  
“Thanks. I’m not sure I was quite that literal in my request but… thank you.” Karkat said, moving forward with her and taking the lead.  
Nepeta briefly considered taking his hand rather than wrist. Her fingers crept toward his palm, but she pulled her hand away instead. He didn’t seem to notice.  
She could hear music and sounds of merriment from afar: People talking loudly, cheering, the rhythmic stepping of some sort of dance. A festival was taking place here.  
“What business do you have here?” she asked.  
“I… I’d rather not involve you.” He gazed away from her. At first she thought it was just not wanting to meet her gaze, but she noticed he was scanning the area. It reminded her of what people from her home called ‘hunter’s gaze’, a sort of deep concentration that one can snap into when they’ve been stalking the same prey or walking the same route for a long time. Karkat ducked into a small gap between two houses, barely big enough to qualify for an alley. Nepeta followed, cautious of whatever Karkat may have seen.  
“Please, Nepeta. It’s probably- in fact it’s really. REALLY. Idiotic of me. But I trust you to not tell anyone what you see here. Only Equius has ever seen me here.” Karkat produced a blood red cloth, covering his head and hair save for his eyes, nose, and mouth, fashioning a sort of cowl.  
“Whatever it is, you can trust me.” Nepeta was becoming increasingly worried by his behavior. What secrets could lie in this otherwise cheerful looking town and its festivities?

 

Nepeta and Karkat kept going, eventually reaching what must have been the town square. She realized they probably took the long way around due to her initial choice of direction.  
In the square there was a large wooden platform where several people sat at a long table, some wearing cowls matching, or roughly approximating, or almost barely approximating Karkat’s.  
A man wearing bright clothes spoke loudly to the crowd that had gathered to witness whatever event this is, that Karkat was in some way participating in. “And now we will- oh my! People of Swolnersburg, you may be fooled to think otherwise, but I’ve been here for many years, and I can tell you the man stepping up right now isn’t just another man in a red cowl, this is the genuine article! THE Red Cowl!” Sounds of protest came from the other hooded members of the table, and cheering came from the crowd. “Here to protect our title are we?”  
Karkat said nothing and took a seat at the table. Nepeta stood frozen. It had just hit her how much she truly doesn’t know about this man she was now travelling with.  
Her face turned from worry to bewilderment at lightning speed, however, as the announcer’s voice reached her.  
“Now to begin our annual Spring Festival Weiner Eating Contest!”

 **Entry 7:** _Dragons_  
Giant beasts known throughout the world. They come in a few varieties, and each region of the world has its own local dragon treated it in a particular way. Dragons are often characterized by the places in which they make their residence or the type of magic they use to satisfy their voracious appetites, a result of the sheer amount of energy such a gigantic creature requires to function.

There is an incorrect widespread belief that dragons are very long lived; they actually have life spans that range from 30 to 60 years, with some outliers. A more accurate belief regarding dragons, however, is that they are very dangerous and very difficult to kill. This trait has made them both very well respected in many societies, as well as incredible targets for big game hunters and wealthy people who wish to have some remain of a dragon as a proof of high status.  
The places that the different dragons live in typically correlate to places where a lot of magical energy can be found, in whatever form it takes.  
While it is believed some dragons may share a common ancestor, it is possible dragons as a whole are not their own species but rather a group of unrelated megafauna. They are all, however, reptiles.

The Air Dragon/Cave Dragon- These dragons are found in the western continents exclusively. True to their name, they use their six shovel-like feet to dig large caverns in which they make their homes. The caverns both shield them during their hibernation in the cold seasons and allow them to consume a very important part of their diet: Magic crystals. During their hibernation period, Cave Dragons are able to supplement sunlight with the magic crystals lying in their stomach.  
They have one of the strongest stomach acids known in the world, able to quickly break down everything but rocks, and even those are broken down slightly, allowing them to fully absorb the nutritional value of what they eat. If you find large smooth rocks far away from any source of water, there is a good chance those are Cave Dragon droppings.  
The name Air Dragon comes from the lung-like pockets found in their throat that allow them to suck in air which, aided by air magic, creates a “wind tube” out their mouths. Anything in the impressive range of their suction is forever gone to their ravenous bellies. This includes all but the fastest of animals, and even entire sections of forest. An Air Dragon with a tree lodged in its mouth is a very humorous image, but it is just as awe inspiring to see how it slowly but surely gulps down the entire trunk as its potent stomach acid melts down the plant matter in minutes.  
Settlements have also been known to be a target of theirs. An invading dragon typically spells doom for a village, as its blubbery skin is rather difficult to injure effectively. Luckily, Cave Dragons are very slow.  
The Mimics have myths that claim that dragons are a result of many dead buried in the same place awakening in the form a grotesque beast. This is likely due to Cave Dragons eating burial mounds.  
They possess slick scales in shades ranging from yellow to brown, very wide heads and mouths, and no teeth. They have six webbed feet with tough claw-like points at their ends and sticky bottoms, giving their steps a distinct “plap”ing sound. They also have short tails, small, beady, black eyes, and large abdomens that drag on the ground as they move.

The Fire Dragon/Sea Dragon- These dragons live in the oceans and have been sighted worldwide. These dragons were once believed to be able to produce flames that can burn in water or burn water itself. This is due to them sometimes using fire magic while breaching the surface of the sea in such a way that it seems the water around them is burning. In truth, the water is boiling, as the Fire Dragon uses strong fire magic to kill schools of fish and larger marine animals by boiling the surrounding area and eating the corpses of the killed animals. This also causes bubbling and steam, obscuring the dragon’s form in a mist and giving them an air of mystery and danger.  
This has led to a very notable amount of sailor’s stories about their encounters with dragons to become famous, contributing to the idea of a dragon as a vicious animal. In truth, Sea Dragons are the friendliest of dragons and have only been really known to bother sailors and ships in what has been identified as “pranks”, as they manipulate currents to move ships off course, or attempt to scare the ship (likely thinking it to be a dragon or some other large living being) by breaching within close proximity of it.  
It should be noted smaller ships are in fact in danger of being eaten if one isn’t careful to stay out the way of a feeding dragon.  
Fire Dragons are known to “sleep” for a few hours throughout the day with short bursts of activity, as they float partially above the water level, soaking up the sunlight.  
These dragons, while long, are fairly stout, appearing like a thick sea serpent with fish-like scales in shades of grey and blue, two large fins on their bottom halves, a tail with a large fin lying parallel to the water, a spine of dorsal fins lining their back, and long, square heads with a beak-like lip.

The Water Dragon/Sky Dragon- These dragons, while being the largest known being to possess flight, do not live strictly in the sky and make their homes on the tops of mountains, especially in the northern parts of the world. Some of these dragons also live in dug-out caverns in the mountains, though those are not built by them, rather they are built by Kobolds: A species of moles that live in a symbiotic relationship with the Sky Dragon. The Kobolds’ impressively large and sturdy claws allow them to dig through the rock of the mountains in search of magic crystals, that they then gather in a pile in a large “hall” in or over the mountain. These are used as a bed for the Sky Dragon and allow it to absorb large amounts of magic energy as they rest.  
It is believed that as the Kobolds evolved a facial and skull structure more reminiscent of the Sky Dragon’s head it played upon the parental instincts of the dragon, causing it to care for the Kobolds. As “payment” for the Kobolds collecting these crystals, they get to sleep with the dragon, enjoying its warmth, as well as receive food from it.  
Water Dragons are actually more commonly known as Storm or Lightning Dragons, and are seen as omens of bad luck and disaster. They are the rarest dragons, and most dangerous because of the way in which they hunt.  
Water Dragons will circle in the sky, using water magic to form clouds. The clouds form a spiral from the dragons’ flight creating a current of wind, and slowly build up an electrical charge. The charge is partially transferred to the Sky Dragon’s hairs and becomes more easily visible. At this point a thunderstorm may begin. This culminates with the dragon folding its body to a single point, dropping to the surface as it “drags” the electric current formed in the sky along with it creating an artificial lightning that allows it to scorch the earth below it and eat any burnt meat left in its wake. They usually target large groups of animals, meaning traveling herds and settlements are the ones most targeted by this creature. Unluckily, Sky Dragons are very fast, but they have the least natural defense of all dragons, as far as their scales go.  
They look much like giant birds, with the “inverted knee” structure of their legs and their large bat-like wings. These wings, used for gliding in the air, are supported by a pair of smaller wings that flap continuously and use fire and air magic to create a constant stream of air to lift the Sky Dragon off the ground. They are covered almost entirely in small hairs, making some question their status as a reptile, however they do not clearly qualify as any other kind of animal or living creature. Their heads are very small, save for their massive beaks, and contain two downward facing eyes and the aforementioned thin, long beak. They are typically colored gray or white, but have been known to grow brown hair.

The Earth Dragon/Royal Dragon- The Earth Dragons are very special due to their relationship with Trolls. These dragons have long been worshipped by Trolls and have formed a strong relationship with them, essentially being the only domesticated dragon. It is actually unclear what their original hunting strategy was, but currently they get most of their food from Trolls who gather food for them, though they remain very independent creatures.  
Important or noble Trolls will typically have a Royal Dragon “passed down” through their bloodline, and taking care of it is very important as a sign of a great leader in Troll society.  
During the Earth Dragon’s mating season, it is customary for towns with female dragons to create a food trail leading to their town, incentivizing male dragons to come to their town. Most of the time, however, nobles will form treaties by “marrying” their dragons, as Royal Dragons mate for life. Once the eggs have hatched, the noble that sent the male dragon will choose a descendent of the dragon to take its place, as well as an additional dragon of the same sex that will be given to the noble with the female dragon once the female dragon passes.  
The law of choosing dragons of the same sex was established so nobles will be forced to form treaties with multiple other nobles. The affair has, in essence, become an elaborate gift exchange between important Trolls.  
If dragons of the same sex cannot be produced they will select a dragon of the next egg cycle.  
Any dragons beside the two chosen will typically be released into the wild.  
The exchange of dragons will sometimes be interrupted by wild dragons competing for the female’s affection. This may result in a noble’s dragon not being able to mate, which is an affair of great grief to the Trolls under the noble’s jurisdiction.  
Earth magic has been known to be able to create tough hides for animals that can use it, but the Earth Dragon’s is the strongest in the world. The material it builds on its scales, known as “Mythril” can only be pierced, broken down, or molded under extreme heat, is very lightweight, and has so far been completely unreplicable by even the most skilled of mages, however, extensive research has discovered that it has a tube like construction.  
Nobles will typically adorn themselves or their high ranking soldiers with Mythril of deceased royal dragons.  
Royal Dragons are very long and covered in scales in vibrant colors ranging from red to green to gold, and possess four short, taloned feet, and faces reminiscent of the Sea Dragon’s, but with a flat snout as opposed to a beak, and slightly more rounded. Their coloration is thought to be a factor in their attractiveness to mates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you may have noticed Biology, Chemistry and Physics in a Magical World is now in the chapter instead of the end notes! That is because the end notes have a character limit of 5000, and I wrote 1,902 words about dragons. That is longer than the chapter. I may have overcompensated for my absence. But hey. Dragons.


	9. Man sticks many weiners in his mouth.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now the REAL action begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom. Nother chapter. Don't expect this pace to keep up, I'm mostly making use of quarantine time to write this much, but I will keep writing! Leave a comment if you have something to say! All feedback is appreciated.

After the contestants were presented with platters laden with large, dripping sausages, the countdown began.  
“Three!” Nepeta was still in some state of shock that she couldn’t quite put into words. What is happening?  
“Two!” It’s a sausage eating contest. Karkat is in costume, and is… Famous?  
“One!” So he comes here annually, or maybe he just comes often enough to get noticed. But his identity remains hidden. Is this a big deal? Would he be crushed by fangirls otherwise?  
“Go!” All the questions that plagued Nepeta’s mind were suddenly wiped out when she saw Karkat grab a thick sausage and shove it violently into his mouth, followed by another. He kept going and going. She wasn’t certain how much chewing even happened. She wanted to see the other contestants, see how Karkat was doing, but her eyes were glued to him. She understood the meaning of ‘enthralled’ better in this moment that any before.  
He started getting more sausages at once. Two. Three. Nepeta was drooling… From the smell of the cooked meat, she reasoned to herself.  
Men began to fall. The other competitors would gag, vomit, collapse. But Karkat kept going, pressing more of those meaty... long… foodstuffs to his lips. Nepeta swallowed hard.  
Were his lips getting thicker during this process? She could swear they were.  
Karkat was hunched over the table, his plate empty, chewing slowly. Sweat made his muscles glisten in the sun and his hair stick to his forehead.  
His throat muscles contracted with a loud gulp. He looked ready to collapse, yet he grabbed his plate, held it high, and opened his mouth.  
“Just as expected folks! The Red Cowl is victorious once more! No one can beat this man’s endurance! Give him a hand!!!”  
The crowd clapped and cheered at the announcer’s delighted declaration.  
Nepeta remained entranced up until she saw Karkat get up from the table and hobble over to her, his gut bulging slightly from his recent stuffing.  
“Ugh… Let’s go…” He said weakly. She could smell the fat and salt on his breath and deeply in his skin.  
Nepeta made some vague mumbling sounds in response. She was shaken out of her stupor by Karkat’s finger pressing on her chin and pushing it up.  
Oh god. She had her mouth open the whole time. She was DEFINITELY drooling.  
She made some effort to hide herself by supporting Karkat from under his arm, crouching slightly to do so. He probably didn’t actually need support, he was just full, but it allowed her to avoid his eyes for the time being. His eyes and his damned mouth.  
The cowl made Karkat easy to spot, so they couldn’t quite duck into an alley like before. Luckily, another event of the festival had begun, drawing the attention away from the recent victor, letting him take his disguise off and use the cloth to wipe his sweaty body.  
“What WAS that?!” Nepeta asked incredulously.  
“This,” Karkat started slowly, “is my most well kept secret.”  
“You… eat… weiners?” The cat girl’s brain was going on overdrive, jumping from emotion to emotion, yet remaining in a firm state of awed confusion.  
“There’s more to it than you think. Things I… shouldn’t say. Shit, why did I even drag you into this?” Karkat clutched at his head. He slumped down against one of the walls and sat down.  
Nepeta crouched to meet his gaze. “It’s fine. It really is. I’m just happy that you felt comfortable enough with me to share… this.”  
Nepeta started losing herself again as she stared into his blue eyes. To her knowledge she could have looked at them for either a moment or a whole day. She knew she had taken an interest in Karkat, but why was he so intriguing now of all times?  
Karkat rose. He looked dead ahead.  
“There’s a stream in this town. It’s really pretty, for a body of water… I might still need some support to get there.”  
He extended his arm, and Nepeta went under it once more. It didn’t take much walking for the ‘support’ to become a sort of lazy embrace.  
While Nepeta’s blush was difficult to see past her darker skin, Karkat’s bright complexion made his redness very clear. Then again, he was quite red earlier too, from the heat of the cowl and the strain of the weiners. Nepeta was clearly seeing things.

“How did you figure out you were so good at eating competitions?” Nepeta asked her teammate.  
“In short: I wanted as much food for as little cost. So when I found out some people would pay YOU to eat?”  
Nepeta chuckled. She felt so serene while with him. Like the blankness that enveloped her mind earlier balanced itself, turning into a calm euphoria.  
Karkat spoke up, “This is the place.”  
A babbling brook with water flowing over smooth, mossy stones. She supposed he was right: It was pretty, for a body of water.  
However, something else caught her eye. The stream had a small wooden bridge built over it, and a small figure in a shiny blue cloak sat on the bridge’s decorative rails. What most fascinated her about this person was their messy hair. She had certainly seen afros before, but not one colored a deep forest green.  
Karkat moved on to cross the bridge, disregarding the person. But, as he stepped on the first plank of wood, the person piped up in a voice that seemed too deep for the small, lithe figure.  
“Payement?”  
The pair stopped their advance. “I’m sorry?” Karkat asked.  
“I said,” The figure’s voice had suddenly gotten a bit higher and softer before dropping back down. “Payment?”  
“What kind of payment are you talking about exactly?” Karkat took his arm off of Nepeta and glared at the bum.  
“Oh haven’t you heard?” Nepeta could see his face now. His overly wide grin, his dopey eyes, somehow simultaneously focused on nothing at all, and her specifically, and his stoney gray skin. “I’m a troll, and you’re passing a bridge. When you pass by a troll, you gotta pay the troll toll!” The small man’s smile widened.  
“I’m not giving you anything you overdressed, shit stained, maggot breath, freeloading bum that looks less like a troll and more like something a troll would puke. Leave us alone.” Karkat took Nepeta’s hand and turned to leave.  
“Shame.” The troll’s voice was unsettlingly deep again.  
He jumped at Karkat, who narrowly dodged the attack. The bum held himself by both his hands and bare feet, hanging off the short railing on the other side.  
Nepeta snapped into action, she took out her dagger and went for the kill.  
The troll jumped again, this time flipping in the air and landing in the water. Nepeta could have sworn her blade connected with his body, but there was no indication of that.  
“Okay, so you can do some acrobatics, big fucking deal. This is a fight, not a circus.” Karkat pulled out his sword and nodded at Nepeta.  
They each darted off from a different end of the bridge, closing on the diminutive man in a pincer maneuver.  
Just as they came close enough to him to clash, the troll jumped up an impressive height. He kicked Nepeta’s stomach and used the momentum to slam hard into Karkat’s torso, pinning him to the ground.  
The dopey faced troll now had a bloodthirsty grin. He held his hand up and prepared to strike at Karkat, who took the opportunity to grab some dirt from the edge of the stream and toss it in his adversary’s face.  
The would-be killer sputtered and spat, giving Nepeta time enough to get her bearings and fling her dagger at him. He narrowly dodged, and leapt off of Karkat.  
The strange man turned his gaze to the fighter lying in the water. “Nice sword.”  
Panic flashed across Karkat’s face, and the assailant ran off.

Nepeta reached out to help Karkat stand. “Are you okay?”  
“Yeah, he didn’t eve-OWOWOW!” Karkat doubled over, clutching his stomach.  
“WHAT?! WHAT HAPPENED?”  
“Stomach cramps,” Karkat admitted sheepishly.  
Nepeta laughed vigorously, before her own pain caught up with her.  
“You should try to cool the place where he kicked you.” Karkat got his red cloth and dipped it in the river water. “Here- Ah, wait I used this to wipe my sweat-”  
“Thank you.” Nepeta took the cloth and pressed it to her side.  
“That was a cool move you did down there, blinding him. But why did you reach to get dirt when you could have made a dust cloud?”  
Karkat sat down solemnly.  
“I may as well tell you. It connects to your… other worries.”  
Nepeta found it a bit hard to breathe. She suddenly didn’t want to know. “You don’t have to, tell me more about this stream maybe? Or something?”  
Karkat patted the ground to his side. Nepeta reluctantly took a seat.  
“We are as much adventurers as we are fugitives.”

 

In the northernmost parts of the continent live a people who call themselves Pohjmies, or Pumice, depending on your accent. Everyone else calls them ‘Giants’.  
Known for having very tall stature, light skin, light eyes, and light hair, but known more so for having more strength, stamina, and fortitude than any other people. Or at the very least those are the stereotypes.  
Among those people a young boy was born. In an otherwise ordinary family, in an ordinary home, in an ordinary town, this one boy was special. He could not use magic, no matter how much he tried.  
Every physician, medicine man, and faithful healer that saw the child said the same thing: “He won’t survive long. I’d wait a year before you even name him.”  
But he did survive. He survived out of pure stubbornness. Stubbornness and anger.  
The boy’s appetite was voracious, but he didn’t grow. He hadn’t been able to breach 170 centimeters of height, even past his adolescence. In all matters of physique, he was worse than his peers. He had no strength, no stamina, and no fortitude. His parents would urge him to improve on his education, but he rejected it. The boy wanted badly to be a soldier, and he was VERY stubborn, you see.  
The boy, now a young man, would train and fight in whatever way he could. He didn’t accept the idea of weakness. He turned his small size into a strength, dodging and striking with precision, and remaining unfazed in the face of his opponents’ magic, and he believed, he truly believed, the only thing he needed to surpass his peers was a truly great weapon.

In the northernmost parts of the continent there is a sword of great renown, though word of it hasn’t travelled past the cluster of towns that had the chance to lay their eyes on it. It is called ‘The Mountain’s Fang’, and is said to be forged from the metallic tooth of a living mountain. While those may be legends, the sword itself is very strong, very well made, and features a hook that could give a smart fighter the edge in a fight.  
Or it could give a foolish fighter motivation. Motivation to sneak to where it was kept, supposed to be shown around the villages ceremoniously, and take it, believing that he could wield it with such prowess that he would be allowed to use it in an official duel, as opposed to be immediately taken on by guards who want to retrieve the stolen item.  
That young man started running. No amount of asslike persistence would give him an option but running. And some say he’s still running to this day…

“So in summation of my fucked up autobiography: I can’t use magic because I’m mother nature’s rejected bastard son, I’m not just small for a man, I’m actually REALLY PATHETICALLY TINY for a man, and if I ever go too far north Equius and I will get executed faster than you can say ‘dramatic backstory’. The reason I’m so good at eating competitions is because I can’t ingest magic energy, or whatever overly long explanation Kanaya gave me, so I get all my energy from… Food. It sounds dumb out loud, but there’s some science in there that makes it make sense.” Karkat huffed. “I shouldn’t have let you join us.”  
Nepeta looked at the water wordlessly.  
“I believe. That I am cursed.”  
“Huh?” Karkat looked at the cat girl’s saddened expression.  
“I mean, I don’t actually believe I’m cursed, curses aren’t real, it’s just that... so long as we’re sharing… I’m not travelling just because I want to see the world. I had to get away from my home. Because everyone around me dies. It sounds dumb, it sounds dramatic, and it certainly isn’t true, but it’s how I’ve always felt.  
“I never knew my father, and my mother died when I was about thirteen years old. An illness no one could cure. She’d gotten sick at first when I was eleven.  
“Then my sister, she didn’t die, but she lost her hearing fighting off some bandit because of an explosion. And my best friend… she was the only one I had that I felt I could trust. But she went missing a long time ago. Declared officially dead just a few months ago. I want to keep these new people in my life safe. So if anything bad happens to me because I’m with you... well, it’d be a nice change of pace, and would really be for the better, if you think about it.”  
Karkat put his hand around Nepeta. He looked at her and his expression changed from grim to jovial. “Oh so you think you can just butt in on MY sob story and get to pull a self sacrifice?! Please, what kind of soldier would I be if I didn’t die for you at LEAST once?”  
Nepeta laughed “Oh no! The ancient curse repeats! Woe is me!!”  
She faked a swoon, falling toward Karkat, who grabbed her in his arms.  
She had realized that she may be too good at fake swooning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Entry 8:** _Congenital Magic Impotence_  
>  The fundamental magic, explained in Entry 1, is the oldest form of magic and progenitor of all currently known magic. While there is debate about what element of magic developed first, or if there exists a fifth ancient element (commonly referred to as Aether) that was the first magic, the fact remains that all complex organisms are capable of fundamental magic. The purpose of this magic is to supply the body with necessary materials and energy.  
> As organisms developed, they evolved the ability to gain sustenance from other sources. We refer to this process as “Eating”.  
> We have already discussed the effects of not being able to sustain oneself with magic energy in Entry 5’s explanation of Hypomagica, and the effects of starvation are widely known to most, so the importance of both processes in a body is plain to see.  
> However, there exists a rare phenomenon where a person that would ordinarily be capable of magic, is not.  
> This is due to a mutation named Congenital Magic Impotence, in which one of the genes that codes the organelle that allows the processing of magical energy within the cell is damaged. As a result, the person with Congenital Magic Impotence is not only incapable of using spells, but of sustaining themselves with magic. A child born with this condition has low chances of survival. They experience the symptoms of mild to severe hypomagica regardless of the amount of magical energy present. They are lethargic, require more food to sustain themselves than others, have difficulty regulating their temperature, and they experience stunted growth at all stages of life.  
> Cases of people with Congenital Magic Impotence reaching adulthood are few and far between, and as such the condition is under-documented, and research remains to be done as to the full effects of this condition on one’s body.


End file.
